- You have the words ninja, guru or sometimes expert in your name or description. Unless you’re actually a ninja or guru. Then rock on.
- Calling yourself a world traveler, adventurer or something comparable. Tone it down. A lot.
- You feel compelled to tell us all you’re on a plane. Use of phrases like “Wheels up/down…”
- You’re wearing Google Glasses in your profile picture, and looking quite serious.
- You use TrueTwit verification. You’re not worth the trouble, trust me. Unfollow.
- You auto direct message me a pitch when I follow you. Slow down tiger. How about interacting with me first?
- You auto direct message me when I follow you a long list of other places to follow you. Come now. You’re not that interesting.
- You auto direct message me a question on Twitter when I follow you, but you didn’t follow back, so you can’t get the reply.
- To simplify, you auto direct message me on follow.
Wouldn’t it be great if Twitter warned us by adding an icon to all the accounts that use auto responders? I’m thinking of either a skull and cross bones – – or maybe Mr. Yuck from the poison control warnings.